Ahhh, growth, life....

Our new hens

The chicks are here!

My sprouting tray

Jacob's tray

Happy birthday, Gracie girl!

Our Grace is 7!  That sounds so much older than 6...  She is growing into such an amazing young lady--sweet, loving, cuddly, kind, and FULL of personality!  Grace and I did a photo shoot of sorts today.  I tried, but I just couldn't narrow it down anymore (trust me this isn't all of them!).  I hope you enjoy getting to know our Grace through these pictures.  They truly show what a precious girl she is to us.

We love you, Grace FuShuang!

The girls have a birthday tradition--a gigantic balloon of their choice.  

This one just makes my heart smile!

Love the personality in this one--Miss Confident!

The best sisters in the world.  They love each other so much; they can't bear to be apart.

Crazy girls!

Life is fun!

Birthday girl got to choose a new bike today.  We loved this one with longer handles, it helps her to not have to reach so far.  It works GREAT with pokey arm!

We had a WONDERFUL birthday party with our friends.  We celebrated Caroline and Grace's birthdays together.--2 very special young ladies!

What great friends!  

Psalm 139

Wow...awesome drive it home skit!

Kids are suppose to feel pain!

(warning--graphic photo of her incisions farther down this post)

TingTing had 7 or so vials of blood drawn, then she had to do her pulmonary function test.  Part of that included an arterial blood gas baseline.  This involved the technician drawing blood from the artery in her wrist.  She spent about 3 minutes trying to get hit the artery on Ting's left wrist.  When that didn't work, she moved to the right wrist.  After a couple minutes, she hit it.  

TingTing did not cry, did not squirm, and did not need me to hold her AT ALL.  She sat there with her arm out.  Just sat there.

She didn't cry or fuss in the hospital. 

Today is day 4 post op and she only took 5 cc of Lortab at bedtime tonight. And she didn't really ask for it, just a simple statement that her back hurt just a little so I gave her a low dose to make sure she could sleep.

Think for a moment if your child had these things done.  Do you think he/she would cry? Need you to hold them down to get bloodwork? Lay there and let them cath her with no sound or movement and no one holding her down?

If so, why is it so brave of TingTing to not need someone?

The number of times we heard how brave she was, how tough she was, what a big girl she was...

She's not, well she may be, but more than likely this is due to 2 things:

1.  A learned response--It's not unusual for orphans to learn early on that it doesn't matter.  Crying doesn't elicit the response God created it to get.  Hey, I need someone.  No one comes.  They learn it's a waste of effort to cry.  It won't matter.

2.  It is also related to Sensory Integration Disorder (SID).  Some individuals don't register sensory input in a neurotypical fashion.  Some are hypersensitive to sensory input (loud noises, bright lights, touch, pain... send them into a tizzy).  Others are hyposensitive--they need more intense input to register what a neurotypical person registers with normal input.  This would include pain.   We did a neuro-reorganization evaluation the week before surgery and the therapist noted that she seems to have rather low response to pain.  This also shows up in being able to empathize with others.  Example when a cat has gone missing or we find a chicken dead, she smiles and laughs, and wants to keep talking about it all day.  If she can't feel pain, she can't empathize and respond appropriately.  If it doesn't hurt her, it doesn't hurt anyone.

So... all that to say.  Kids are suppose to feel pain.  It's not "normal" for them not to.   I feel God gave us pain to protect us from more serious damage.  We need to feel pain.

We've got occupational therapy, speech/language therapy, and our newest addition neuro-reorganization therapy going on to help TingTing become better regulated and function at her best.

There's so much more I want to share about TingTing, but I need to figure out how much to tell and what.... (I'd love advice on how you know how much to share about your child's issues and needs.)

Oh yeah, here's the photos I warned about:

This spine X-ray was done in December.  It had gotten SIGNIFICANTLY worse since then.  It was about 40 or so degrees here.  The most recent one was about 65 degrees curvature. (The main curve, there was a secondary above it, but it was smaller.)

Spine x-ray the day after surgery.  They believe they got it down to about 30 degrees and the upper curve is starting to straighten itself.

Here's her incision sites on Friday morning before they discharged us.

Here's a video of TingTing walking today.  Her right shoulder is so much lower... and we're noticing the leg length difference more.  When she takes a step with her left leg, she lifts her body up to where her right foot almost doesn't touch the ground.  You can't see it as much in this video... I'll try to get better tomorrow.

Attachment issues...

I knew being gone this week would stir up attachment issues and it didn't fail to deliver.  Grace was rotten yesterday.  Just wild, disobedient, and downright annoying.  

At dinner I passed a comment to her that it seemed like she was trying to be disobedient in order to get me to go away to prove to something to herself.   After dinner we went have a pow-wow.  She started by telling me that what I said at dinner was right.  She said her heart felt like it was half and half.  She said (with adorable hand gestures), "This half loves you and this half wants to make you go away."  She said Satan was trying to get her to feel that I didn't love her.  She knew I loved her, but he was telling her I didn't.  I was so proud of her for putting her feelings into words and being able to talk about how to handle these feelings in the future, as it will happen again.  That she is in control of her feelings, that we have to go on what we know, not what we feel.  

Btw, this is a common adoption scenario (and NOT just international either!)...  Attachment is not an "is" or "isn't" issue--it is a sliding scale that is always adjusting and changing, which is why I try to have my radar up to watch for these issues and try to parent in view of attachment.  Often times these behaviors can fly just under the radar unless you know to look for it.  It would have been so easy to just chalk it up to hunger, being tired, any number of excuses.  

Beach time!!

Wow, I didn't realize I haven't posted here since February!  Where has the time gone?  Oh yeah, doctor  and therapist appointments, but that's not what this post is about.  Maybe I'll post on the other stuff soon, just processing it.

We all needed some getaway R&R.  We left the house and animals in capable hands and headed to one of our favorite beach spots--Sandestin.  We are blessed this trip to be able to spend time with 2 special families.  Today we got to see Dawn and her family.  We have been friends since we adopted our first daughters about the same time 6+ years ago.  We unexpectedly found that they were staying 45 minutes from us and they came play on the beach today.  We got to meet Levi and they got to meet Eliana.  

Here are some pictures from our first night and our reunion:

View from our balcony

These 2 are the sweetest of sisters...

Shaoey and Grace watching the sunset over the bay

Dad & Shaoey at Roberto's 

Connor & Jacob

Shaoey is such a beach princess--she adores it!

All the China kids--Levi, Bekah, Shaoey (she's not really that short, she's standing in a hole), Grace, Leah, and Eliana

Connor volunteered to be buried and they jumped at the chance.

Leah and Grace jumping waves

Special moments

Shaoey looks like she belongs on a beach in Hawaii riding the waves!

Sweet Gracie was wiped out!  

Dawn & I
Thanks for coming hang with us today--what a blessing!

Prayers and fasting for SFCV--Friday/Saturday

Thank you for praying with us this week! Amazing things happen with His people bow their knees united and call on His name.  

Today I'd like to pray for those who are hurting in this situation.  In some ways I think I know where they're coming from.  The disappointment, the fierce love, the point where expections meet reality.  It is not a comfortable place to be.  I know.  They are grieving and and angry and hurting.  They want answers they may never get on this side of Heaven.  They need our love and prayers. But even more than that  they need the One who can heal body and soul, the One who knows everything and has a plan.   The one who loves their child even more than they do.  Pray for God to hear their cries and to comfort them.  Pray for their hearts to be softened, for them to be open to working together to improve the lives of orphans, not risk throwing it all away in grief.  

Thanks again for joining with us this week.  I spoke with Dr. Ana and have been emailing Tim and they say they feel our prayers, there's peace.  I hope that in the coming weeks, you will continue to lift up this situation and SFCV.  This isn't the end....

God bless!

Charlene

We interrupt this program to bring you this special news bulletin

I'm sorry.  I feel very burdened tonight to interrupt our prayers for SFCV to ask you to pray for ALL the NGO/foster care situations in China, specifically Henan province and any NGO that has children from Henan (which includes SFCV!).  The situation there continues to deteriorate.  

I posted a link earlier to a story about the LWB Healing Home in Henan.  The short version is that a Chinese woman was housing 18 children/youth.  She left to take some of the children to school.  While she was gone, a fire broke out and 7 children were killed.  The government has asked officials to make inspections of foster care homes.  It seems that even though these homes were given excellent reviews, the provincial government has ordered all the children to be returned to their original orphanage.  These are all special needs orphans.  This fire had NOTHING to do with NGOs.... totally separate.

As I posted in Wednesday's prayers, the Chinese culture (on a whole, not individually) has a different take on persons with disabilities and special needs.  

Please pray for these children that are being sent back to their orphanages.  Pray for their safety.  Pray for their hearts, this is another break in their attachment story.... each break makes it harder for future attachments.  Pray that their medical needs are met.  Pray that no more children will be ordered back to their original orphanage.  (As far as I know, SF has not had to return any children to their orphanage.)  And please pray that this is only temporary that they will soon be returned to their loving homes and reunited with their caretakers.  

Continue to pray for a hedge of protection around SFCV.  Pray for eyes to be opened, hearts to be changed and made new, and for the believers to stand firm in unity.

God bless!

Charlene