Mind games...

Do they ever stop?

I'll be honest, adopting Grace has been one of the most tiring things I've ever done.  The phrase two steps forward, 3 steps back comes to mind.  Thankfully it is mostly just one step back.    

We new before adopting her that she would be a more challenging child...  We heard how she would go with anyone and everyone, which sent up red flags in attachment.  Three years later I can see what tremendous strides we've made.  Praise God, her mama/baba shopping is drastically reduced!  She comes up to me and apologizes on her own.  She will lay on my lap an look up into my lap and my heart melts.  And best of all, I get to hear the most wonderful words from my girlie, "I love you, mama!"  

But the mind games continue.  This morning she was playing with some of Shaoey's horse figures.  When she didn't want to play with them anymore, she walked up to Shaoey and just threw the ones she didn't want down on the floor.  I stopped, reminded her of the way we treat our belongings, and offered a redo (Redo's are BIG here thanks to Karyn Purvis and The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family).  No problem.  She accepted them from me, went over and set them down except for the one she wanted to play with.  All fine and dandy.  Or was it?  Then she dropped the one she was holding.  I could just accept this as a drop, but I KNEW in my heart that it wasn't and needed to be addressed.  These are the mind games I'm talking about.  I'd love to just let it go, but it seems that children with attachment issues NEED you to deal with it.  Not dealing with it is seen as a sign of weakness.   I let her know that I knew she hadn't "dropped" it, no arguing from her side.  You could see on her face that she knew she was busted.  A few minutes later, she was carrying 2 plates and a fork and I heard a clatter.  She piped up with "mama, it was an accident, I really didn't drop this one on purpose."  Bingo, I knew I was right the first time!  LOL

I know this doesn't sound like much, but it's just one example.  There are many more.  The constant vigilance is just tiring.  Passive aggressive just doesn't go over well here....

Adoption friends, any other pointers?

Thought you'd enjoy a few cute precious pictures!

One of our morning rituals is that we feed the girls a sippy cup of coffee milk.  It's such a great time of bonding.  (Normally another child isn't allowed on our lap at the same time, it was just too great a photo op to pass up.)

The girls' room

Wow, this room had taken a beating from housing boys for 7 years....

(ignore the mess, they were in the middle of moving...  

Oh wait...it was ALWAYS like that!  This is much neater!  LOL)

and here it is now...almost.  

Grace and Shaoey's beds

Ting Ting's bed

 I had to paint the girls' beds to work in the new room.

The black was so pretty with the other decor, but not such a good match with the brown bedding.

Ta da!  Here it is.  So much nicer in this room.

 This is what I meant by "almost" above.  I'm still working on the beds.  Shaoey thought it was SO high, kind of funny since it's only been 4 nights since she slept on in when it was black.  She swears it"s higher....

I can't wait to have all my girlies in the room!   We think we're about 8 weeks away from travel!!!

And her name is..............

First I have to give you some background...
(no skipping to the bottom!)

We have been going in circles trying to choose a name.  We had narrowed it down to about 3 (which kept changing) and were split even on those.  We received our Letter of Intent (aka Letter Seeking Confirmation) this week which has put me in a tizzy filling out another round of paperwork.  Several of the pieces in the pile ask for your child's English name, so we were really down to the wire.  I have SCOURED name lists over and over.  I am dizzy from the constant scrolling of the screen.  I'd like some.  Troy'd like some.  The kids would like some.  BUT they were never the same some!   The family is so tired of me saying "Hey, how about this one?" They are totally over being polled on their favorite.

I have been praying for God to make her name known to me.  None of the names on the list were bad.  I liked most of them just fine, but none jumped out at me as belonging to our Tinging.  I've been getting a sense for a certain name, but was afraid to tell Troy because I was sure he would say "No way, no how!"  So when he'd asked me, I kept saying I didn't have one that stood out, but that wasn't true.  There was one...  

So tonight, I mustered up all the courage I could find and told him the name and the meaning.  Imagine my surprise, no...utter shock, when he said yes!  I asked him over and over and over if he was sure and he still said yes.  I asked if he was ok saying this name for years.  (Yes)  I asked if he was just trying to get me to stop drilling him on names.  (He says no...LOL).

Immediately after he walked away, I noticed my inbox had a number of notices about a FB post I was tagged in.  I went over to read it and about fell over.  It was from someone who is with our daughter in China.  She said she thinks the kids think she can find them families on the computer.  This morning TingTing asked her if she had found one for her.  I can't even type that without bursting into tears.

Did you get that?  At the same time that I was telling Troy the meaning of the name He had  given me for our little girl, on the other side of the world, that little girl was asking my friend if she had found a family for her!

Baby girl, my God answers our prayers!  He has answered 3 1/2 years of prayers and tears.   He has answered the prayers of a little girl.  And what does the name that I was given mean?

"God has answered me."

Introducing:

Eliana TingTing Martin!!

Our 2012-13 school year starts...

next week!  LOL  This is one of the many joys of homeschooling--flexibility!  We were scheduled to start today, but we have had such a busy 2 weeks that I made the executive decision to start next week.   

 Homeschool events, co-op planning meeting, VBS planning meeting, Charlotte's birthday, going away party for the Vincents, fellowship meal at church, dance rehearsals for recital, recital, Mother's day... on top off numerous chiropractor trips for my thrown out back!  Who says homeschool families are recluses and social outcasts?  They obviously have not met any real life homeschool families!  We are looking forward to a relatively quiet week at home and being able to give the house and yard the attention it desperately needs.  One of my biggest to-dos is to paint the playroom-turning-boys-room this week.  Musical rooms cannot begin until that is done.  

Here are a few pics from our week:

Troy took Connor, Jacob, and Grace to the store but Shaoey didn't want to go.  She wanted to stay with mama on Mother's Day.  So while the others were gone we took a little nature walk around the yard and turned it into a little Shaoey photo shoot.  I just love this princess so much! 

She is trying to catch a moth.  She's planning her move....

And goes in for the catch...and missed, but had fun!

Oh that joy and smile is just too much for this mama's heart!  

This is a special tree that we "won" at an auction a few years ago  to benefit A Pregnancy Center and Clinic..  We planted it in memory of our daughters' birth moms.  As a reminder of the life they gave our girls.

My sweet and sexy man!

Vincents--just for you!  Mama cat and kittens are doing great!

Our beautiful ballet princesses.  They did an AWESOME job at recital.  We are so proud of them.  Shaoey has since told us "I LOVE being on stage!"  

  

End of year field trips

One of the joys of homeschooling is the ability to take cool field trips as often as we like and we took 2 in two weeks!  Our first was to Blahut Strawberry Farm.  The kids had a fantastic time. I think they ate their weight in strawberries and then we got to bring home a couple of buckets.   We ate some that night with yummy homemade whipped topping and we sliced some and froze them.

Our next one was to the National WWII Museum in New Orleans.  This was an amazing wrap up to our WWII co-op class (Thanks, Theresa and Carlie!).  We had a great tour guide and the kids were fantastic.  They displayed a wealth of knowledge and had great questions about what they didn't know. (Parents, you were well behaved, too.  Well most of you, boys you know who you are!  LOL)  Our group also had the privilege and honor of meeting a man who was actually in Big Red One.

Introducing the newest members of our family

We are so blessed to be caring for our friends' pets while they move to TX and get settled.  We are so excited to watch God working in their lives and to follow them on this new adventure.  

Introducing:

Leah and Smokey

Mama Leah and her babies

Stewie



And...

Reeses PB Cup aka Mr. Nibbles

I thought I'd throw in an updated pic of our newest chicks, too.  They're 2+ weeks old now and doing great!  We didn't lose any from our batch and they are growing rapidly.  I am VERY ready to put them outside.  If our weather keeps like it is, I think I can move the coop out in about a week or so.

So this brings us up to 7 cats, 38 hens, 1 rooster, 1 dog, and 1 guinea pig!

Doing the bedroom shuffle

This area use to be a very underused bar. So under used that we never updated it in the 7 years we've lived here! It is getting a new lease on life--as the boys' bedroom. Here are a few before pics:







This side of the area is a playroom. The girls playroom is being moved to their bedroom while they are going to be moved to the boys' old room.



Here it is after Troy demolished the bar.


Now we just have to get someone to cap off the water and drain, put down a little tile (thankfully we have enough in the attic from a previous redo on the other side of the room), and run some lights. We're going to have to do a couple of standing armoires as closets, but we're going to put them right here with their backs facing you and it will make a sort of closet. Add in some cool camo area rugs and voila! The boys are pretty excited. The area is even bigger than their other room!


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